Wondermentalist

The suggestion for the audience poem at yesterday’s Ways With Words Wondermentalist Cabaret came from Satish Kumar, whose suggestion of ‘windmills’ was preferred over ‘cream teas’ and ‘praying mantis’ and did seem to inspire the collective metaphor-making faculties…  Here’s the poem as it appears on a Ways With Words poster produced the following morning… 

The Wondermentalist Cabaret

Audience Participation Poem - 14 July 2008

 

Windmills… what are you like?

 

Do you mind how I wind the windmill will?

Gyratory, vibratory, mistral–seeking blades

Sentinel shifters of airy semaphore

Windmill nimbys, nimwill wind me, spin me

Whisking up clouds for a sunset soufflé

An un-winged plane, going nowhere fast, forever…

Turbine be forever mine

Swish, swoosh, swish, swooshhhhh!!!

Oh how revoltingly Dutch.

Wind mills – (on) tall hills – (are) modern ills – (with) fancy frills

Puffing, blowing, huffing, flowing

Ghostly forms, foolishly arrogant in your ridiculous white attire

Why do your wings wave like a waffle?

A pickled onion spinning with its stick

A Spiro-graph of air-borne flight, fights…

Wind grinding pepper-pot, slow sail stew

Scarecrow comedian making a point

A lighthouse on the land, warning of approaching corn

Making flour by wind power, takes about 59 minutes! Doh!

Big sails waiting for wind kiss, sky caress, open arms

Sail this steeple across swollen sodden swamps

Slender blades generating “power”, strong stems – 3 turning petals

She loves me, she loves me not, “she loves me”

Whooshing, whirling, wheeling

Web, windy, wild, westerly

Focused on flour or flux

Though the mills of god grind slowly, they grind exceedingly small

Revolving doors

A Mandala milling the wind 

Ranks of slim white sentinels saving our skins

No ill winds please, keep it sweet

The sails on the mill go round and round…

Who can mill the wind?

And, once ground, what kind of cake would it bake?

Something light and airy? Self-raising? Or f-air-y?

Windmills – do they always wind with time?

Do wind farms really make all the wind?

There once was a windmill in old Amsterdam

Where mice loved to dine on bran flakes and spam

The slow wave of the giant’s arms

Not waving, but drowning.

 

 

Written on 14 July 2008 by the audience of the Wondermentalist Cabaret as part of Ways With Words Festival of Words and Ideas: The Great Hall Dartington

Edited and created by Beryl The Feral

Brought to life by Matt Harvey

 

I’ve been remiss and not sent up the audience poem from the wonderful night at the Phoenix. They opted to investigate the aubergine, and were pretty pleased with what they came up with - quite rightly, I think. Aubergines what are you like?

 

Aubergines – an egg’s ugly cousin

Purple and sexy you make me smile

Saviour of my cheap night in

Aubergines,

Oversized liquorice jellybeans

Lick-able like me

The purple shiny skin of a sweaty bald patch

Plummy, roundy, purple bumbly

Green pokey stalk

Aubergines have feelings too

A personified bruise

An English pear with a suntan

Aubergines, broken dreams, silent screams

Aubergines are fancier than Under-gines

Rakish squishy pulpy thing

The big but small fruit of life

It’s like a giant tomato but purple and slimy

My love is like an Aubergine: big hearted, shiny and delicious barbequed

Aubergines you’re fat and thin, you’re purple like a lucid dream

In America they’re called Eggplants, either way they’re beautiful

Aubergines would make good weapons of mass destruction, if they weren’t soft

Black dummies for big babies

Dressed up marrows

Aubergines are a culinary challenge

A Greek holiday with Germans

The colour of our bathroom suite, the colour of my wedding suit

Goodbye Aubergines…

Aubergines are difficult to shove up your arse.

 

By the people of Exeter and put together by Beryl the Feral The audience liked it all, but especially the last line…

I’ve had chronic computer trouble and I’m writing this from the Apple store in Exeter’s Princesshay while a Genius (sic) does an erase and install on my iBook. That’s why I’m slow off the mark writing up our night at the Phoenix. But Liv Torc just phoned and told me that the Express and Echo have beaten me to it and given us a cracking review. When you read it you’ll see why she was happy about it…

 

I’ll cut and paste it below for those who are, quite rightly, suspicious of embedded links. While I’m at it I’ll chip in, for the record, that Beryl the Feral, Bill Greenwell and Nomad Shuffle were brilliant too.

 

INSPIRATIONAL PHOENIX NIGHT

 

11:40 - 09 July 2008

 

“I have enough, I do enough, I am enough,” were the stark words of Exeter performance poet Liv Torc giving the two fingers to modern life at the humorous cabaret Wondermentalist.Her set was one of the highlights of the poetry, comedy and music night hosted by Devon-based Radio 4 poet Matt Harvey in conjunction with Exeter College.Torc’s ‘Living TV’ celebrates the lives of the enviable ‘have-enoughs’, such as size-14 Beverly who unapologetically eats saturated fat and caravan owner George who prefers buying Frank Zappa albums to a proper house. They were just two of the evening’s funniest and most endearing characters created and brought to life by some of the county’s brightest poetic talent.Making a hilarious appearance was Harvey’s famous superhero alter ego ‘Empath Man’ who “took part in a drugs trial that went horribly wrong - it was for an anti-pessimism drug, called Optiagra, for middle-aged men who find it difficult to get their hopes up.”

Harvey could have been describing one of the evening’s funniest performers, Jerri Hart, who is “single by choice, but not his choice”. Probably better-known to Exeter residents as a jazz busker in Princesshay, Hart had the audience laughing incredulously at his weird but hilarious jazz knitting and just plain silly origami scat.

 

Exeter College lecturers passionately championed their favourite writers in the Dead Poets Slam, cheered on encouragingly by English literature students in the crowd. Finally the audience participation poem pushed the people of Exeter to reach deep into their creative vegetable juices - each writing a line to describe their feelings on aubergines. A hilarious, moving, inspiring night.

 

  

I thought the blog would like to know what a typical Wondermentalist mail-out looks like. And in the process tell you about forthcoming attractions. If you’d like to receive the mail-out then mail me at matt.harvey@copperstrings.com and say, “I’d like to be on the wondermentamailing list.” Then leave it with me…

Greetings and welcome to the Wondermentalist June mail-out

Why the wondermentamailout when there’s no June Wondermentalist? Because there are two in July, in Exeter and Dartington.  And because you have a right to know. A hunger, even. You may be experiencing wonder pangs – it can happen. Also because I want to tell you about podcasts, about Copperwires and your chance to contribute to a bicycle poem, and about my own appearance at the Consciousness Café in the Barrel House, Totnes, on June 26th.

On July 5th Wondermentalist goes to the Phoenix in Exeter (01392 667080), upstairs in the Voodoo Lounge. Bill Greenwell will be there, Jerri and I will do a bit more than usual, Nomad Shuffle will achieve intermediate gorgeousness and we’ll hear from Liv Torc and Beryl the Feral. All the Dead Poet Slammers will be lecturers from Exeter College. It’ll be fantastic and we hope it’ll become an annual Phoenix event. Nevertheless it’s along way for our regulars to go and frankly we don’t expect you to, unless you live in the vicinity.

We hope you’ll come to Ways With Words (01803 867373) on Monday 14th July in the Great Hall, Dartington. Here our Dead Poet Slammers will be provided by folk from the Ways With Words writers roster (see the brochure for who’s around at that time…), which will be fascinating and rather exciting. There’ll be cameos from Beryl the Feral, John Elliott and Mim Darlington, advanced loveliness from Nomad Shuffle and once again a bit more Jerri Hart and myself. I’m anticipating the audience poem will reach new heights. You never know.

Talking of collaborative poems… You’ve probably noticed from the programmes (have you?) that Wondermentalist is but part of a wide network of sites including a social network, CopperStrings, and a podcast place, Traydio. This network of sites has its own newsletter, CopperWires that you can subscribe to (as I do, obviously) which is running its equivalent of our audience poem interactive arts phenomenon. The theme is Bicycles. You get to it by clicking here.

After every wondermentalist there is someone who tells me that his or her line was cruelly, mistakenly, wrongly left out of the audience poem. I commiserate with such people in a cursory way, shrug eloquently by way of acknowledgement of the crumbliness of cookies everywhere, and get on with my life. Now you have chance to put things right. You can contribute to a bicycle poem. I promise, unless it breaks the unwritten laws of decency (and even then it’s 50/50) your line will be included. It will be published all over the place and probably read live at Wondermentalist. From there stardom is but a short step away. Trust me.

I promised a podcast. Paul Wetton has put together The Newer Improved Matt Harvey (also featuring Nathan Filer and Elvis McGonagall) which you get to just by clicking on it. It’s an embedded link. If podcasts are the new radio, embedded links are the new conversation. Marvellous, isn’t it?

Finally I just wanted to tell you that I’m speaking (and reading, a little) at the Consciousness Café in the Barrel House, Totnes, on June 26th. Consciousness Café is a regular discussion group with an invited speaker who talks for half an hour or so before it moves into a group discussion. I’ve been invited to offer thoughts on “A Poet’s Consciousness”. It’s quite a poser – and that’s what I shall probably feel like, standing there and speaking as if I have an iota of a hint of a clue. Nevertheless, I’ll be making as good a fist of it as I can. And probably enlarging on what may or not be meant by Wondermentalism. Come and join in the discussion, or simply listen to the sound of one man floundering…

Hope to see you at one (or two) of the above. The wondermental things apply.

hugs, kisses and manly handshakes

Matt